BOTTOMS UP

GUYS LIKE TUCKER MOORE DIDN'T DATE GIRLS LIKE ME. 

HE HAD BORING OL' WASHBOARD ABS THAT LOOKED LIKE THEY WERE SCULPTED BY THE GODS, AND I HAD MORE CURVES THAN A BACKROAD IN A COUNTRY SONG. 

HE COULD CHARM THE PANTIES OFF ANYONE HE WANTED, BUT I PREFERRED TO INTERACT WITH MY LATEST LITERARY BEST FRIENDS. 

HE WAS MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR AND THE DEFINITION OF A BAD IDEA. 

I HAD NO BUSINESS THINKING ABOUT HIM WHOLE I SLID MY HAND UP MY OWN SKIRT TO PUSH THE ONLY BUTTONS HE HAD LEFT UNTOUCHED. 

THE ONLY SLIDING I SHOULD HAVE BEEN DOING WAS STRAIGHT INTO THE FRIEND-ZONE.

WHICH I DID, FASTER THAN HE COULD SAY "JUST FRIENDS." 

IT DIDN'T MATTER THAT HE SPENT MORE TIME IN MY APARTMENT THAN HIS OWN OR THAT HE SMILED AT ME IN A WAY THAT MADE MY STOMACH FLIP. 

THAT WAS JUST TUCKER. 

AND HE WAS BECOMING MY BEST FRIEND. 

WHICH MADE HIM COMPLETELY OFF-LIMITS. 

BUT A WEEKEND AWAY AND A BAG PACKED SO FULL I COULDN'T FIT MY LOGIC WERE OUR DOWNFALL. 

WE WERE GOING TO SCREW EVERYTHING UP, AND I WOULD BE THE ONE LEFT BOTTOMS UP. 

Double shot

HOW DO YOU SCREW UP YOUR LIFE IN THREE STEPS? EASY. 

STEP ONE: GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE WITH NO PROSPECTIVE JOBS LINED UP. 

STEP TWO: MOVE BACK HOME WITH YOUR PARENTS BECAUSE NO JOB UNFORTUNATELY EQUALS NO MONEY. 

STEP THREE: FORGET TO FACEBOOK STALK THE GUY WHO BROKE YOUR HEART BEFORE ACCEPTING A JOB IN A TOWN THAT HAS A SMALLER POPULATION THAN A FRAT PARTY ON A WEDNESDAY NIGHT. 

I COULD QUIT BUT LIVING WITH MY PARENTS FOREVER DIDN'T SEEM LIKE A SOLID LIFE PLAN. 

JASE HALE WAS THE GOLDEN BOY. OUR BOSS THOUGHT HE WAS BEYOND TALENTED. THE RECEPTIONIST SENT HIM MORE FLIRTY SMILES AND BAKED GOODS THAN WAS CONSIDERED NORMAL FOR A WOMAN OLD ENOUGH TO BE HIS MOM. 

I TRIED TO AVOID HIM AND HIS UNDENIABLE CHARM AT ALL COSTS. 

HE DID EVERYTHING HE COULD TO GET UNDER MY SKIN. 

EVERY ENCOUNTER LEFT ME REELING. 

EVERY SMIRK MADE MY STOMACH FLIP. 

I ASSUMED HE WAS PLAYING WITH ME, JUST PUSHING MY BUTTONS LIKE ALWAYS, BUT WHEN HE LIFTED ME ONTO MY DESK AND SHUT ME UP WITH HIS LIPS ON MINE, I WAS MORE CONFUSED THAN EVER. 

IT DIDN'T MATTER THAT HE WAS TRYING TO PROVE ME WRONG. HAVING MY HEART BROKEN BY THE SAME JERK TWICE IN ONE LIFETIME WASN'T AN OPTION. 

HE ONLY GOT ONE SHOT WITH ME AND HE SURE AS HELL DIDN'T ORDER A DOUBLE. 

WHISKEY NEAT

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